Post by ColDeploy on Apr 2, 2008 10:25:59 GMT 8
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Chicken Soup for Beer Drinkers =)
"Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I
drink I feel shamed. Then I look into the glass and
think about the workers in the brewery and all of
their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer,
they might be out of work and their dreams would
be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is better that
I drink this beer and let their dreams come true
than be selfish and worry about my liver." ~ Jack
Handy
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~
"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they
wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're
going to feel all day. " ~ Frank Sinatra
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~
"An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be
drunk to spend time with his fools." ~ Ernest
Hemingway
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~
"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up
reading." ~ Henny Youngman
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~
"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case.
Coincidence? I think not." ~Stephen Wright
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~
"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get
drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we
commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to
heaven. Sooooo, let's all get drunk and go to
heaven!" ~ Brian O'Rourke
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~
"Beer (or wine) is proof that God loves us and
wants us to be happy." ~ Benjamin Franklin
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~
"Without question, the greatest invention in the
history of mankind is beer.. Oh, I grant you that
the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel
does not go nearly as well with pizza." ~ Dave
Barry
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~
BEER: HELPING UGLY PEOPLE HAVE SEX
SINCE 3000 B.C.!!!
~ "Unknown"
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~
Remember "I" before "E", except in Budweiser.
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~
To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support
Group. Salvation in a can!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~
And saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff
Clavin, of Cheers. One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff
Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his
buddy Norm. Here's how it went:
"Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of
buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest
buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the
slowest and weakest on es at the back that are
killed first. This natural selection is good for the
herd as a whole, because the general speed and
health of the whole group keeps improving by the
regular killing of the weakest members.
In much the same way, the human brain can only
operate as fast as the slowest brain cells.
Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills
brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest
and
weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular
consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain
cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient
machine. That's why you always feel smarter after
a few beers."
Chicken Soup for Beer Drinkers =)
"Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I
drink I feel shamed. Then I look into the glass and
think about the workers in the brewery and all of
their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer,
they might be out of work and their dreams would
be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is better that
I drink this beer and let their dreams come true
than be selfish and worry about my liver." ~ Jack
Handy
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~
"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they
wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're
going to feel all day. " ~ Frank Sinatra
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~
"An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be
drunk to spend time with his fools." ~ Ernest
Hemingway
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~
"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up
reading." ~ Henny Youngman
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~
"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case.
Coincidence? I think not." ~Stephen Wright
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~
"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get
drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we
commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to
heaven. Sooooo, let's all get drunk and go to
heaven!" ~ Brian O'Rourke
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~
"Beer (or wine) is proof that God loves us and
wants us to be happy." ~ Benjamin Franklin
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~
"Without question, the greatest invention in the
history of mankind is beer.. Oh, I grant you that
the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel
does not go nearly as well with pizza." ~ Dave
Barry
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~
BEER: HELPING UGLY PEOPLE HAVE SEX
SINCE 3000 B.C.!!!
~ "Unknown"
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~
Remember "I" before "E", except in Budweiser.
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~
To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support
Group. Salvation in a can!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~
And saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff
Clavin, of Cheers. One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff
Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his
buddy Norm. Here's how it went:
"Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of
buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest
buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the
slowest and weakest on es at the back that are
killed first. This natural selection is good for the
herd as a whole, because the general speed and
health of the whole group keeps improving by the
regular killing of the weakest members.
In much the same way, the human brain can only
operate as fast as the slowest brain cells.
Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills
brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest
and
weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular
consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain
cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient
machine. That's why you always feel smarter after
a few beers."
